what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
