when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
