What did we do last night that was yellow?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
