i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
