glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
