I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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