He is an equal opportunity slut.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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