the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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