i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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