Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We are two peas in an std pod
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
