Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
