You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
