i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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