I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
