dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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