So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He kissed a someone with a penis
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
