On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Randomize
