And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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