if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
