Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
