That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
