all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Hippo gnu deer
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
