We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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