You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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