I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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