Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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