may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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