Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
