I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
