Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He? As in you personified your dick?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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