I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
