i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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