we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
