People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just gargled with NyQuil
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
