I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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