she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
