the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
