garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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