Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
