you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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