FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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