i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
