Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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