At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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