i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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