I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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