he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
