I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
His hands were made for my vagina.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
