You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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