I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
